The Glorious Grace of a Mother

This coming Sunday is Mother’s Day. It’s got my mind thinking about my mom, and about my own experiences as a mom of 4. These thoughts had come on the heels of a situation with one of my (now adult) children. Honestly, it was a minor enough thing that I can’t even think of the specifics, but I remember thinking, as I was doing household chores, that a mother’s grace has got to be one of best examples of the Heavenly grace of God.

In an article by Justin Holcomb, on Christianity.com, he gives a simple but spot on definition of the “grace” to which I am referring. He writes, “Grace is the opposite of karma, which is about getting what you deserve. Grace is getting what you don’t deserve and not getting what you do deserve.” I’m not a believer in karma by the universe, but it’s a good word to use in this case to make grace easier to understand to the reader. If you know anything at all about the one true God, you know He is FULL of this kind of grace. In fact, that is what Jesus Christ displayed through His death on the cross–for MY sins, for YOUR sins. I deserved that punishment, I deserved that death, but Jesus took it on in the single most loving, powerful, grace-filled act ever committed by any human. Oh yes, many have died in place of another, but as a sinner, I was destined for physical death, but more importantly, spiritual death for eternity–meaning, after this body dies, I would have been bound in my spirit to be separated forever from God, from anything good, from hope, from peace, from any form of joy, FOREVER! I was headed for Hell before I accepted the magnificent gift of Jesus taking on my punishment so that I could be free from the bonds and deadly consequences of sin. Ephesians 2:8-9 – “⁸ For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— ⁹ not by works, so that no one can boast.” And Isaiah 53:5 – “But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed.” No person, but God in human form [Jesus], could do that! And he did it! He did it while we were in our sinfulness–He didn’t have a stipulation that He would only die for those who have achieved perfection. There never would have been a death if that were the case! He did it for us even though we deserved death and separation because of our sinful, rebellious natures. This passage really sums it all up, Romans 5:6-11 – “⁶ When we were utterly helpless, Christ came at just the right time and died for us sinners. ⁷ Now, most people would not be willing to die for an upright person, though someone might perhaps be willing to die for a person who is especially good. ⁸ But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners. ⁹ And since we have been made right in God’s sight by the blood of Christ, he will certainly save us from God’s condemnation. ¹⁰ For since our friendship with God was restored by the death of his Son while we were still his enemies, we will certainly be saved through the life of his Son. ¹¹ So now we can rejoice in our wonderful new relationship with God because our Lord Jesus Christ has made us friends of God.” THAT, my friends, is GRACE!

Alright, you might be asking, “What does all this have to do with moms?” Here’s where I’m going with this. Anyone who’s been a mom for a period of time knows exactly what I mean when I say that my children will never understand the grace I have shown them time and time again, until they have their own kids. Have any of you ever said or thought that? Moms, how often have our children hurt OUR feelings? How often have they given us attitude when they should have been grateful, or thinking about what WE might need instead of what THEY think they need? How many times have we chosen to look over an offensive word from them because we know they are young and ignorant? How often have we thought to ourselves, “Well, I made just as bad of a choice when I was young, so I’ll go easier on him/her than he/she deserves”? How many times have we NOT given them the consequences they deserved because we love them so dearly and it isn’t enjoyable for us to chastise, or lecture, or strongly discipline, even though that’s exactly what a situation may need? How many times have we shown undeserved GRACE?? Hmm, sounds a lot like the grace God shows us.

Some of us have been terribly wounded by our children, no matter how much we gave to and poured into them. And often, we moms will mourn silently, or vent to our husbands behind the scenes, or cry in the shower where no one can see. I love my children dearly, and I am pretty close to all of them, but I remember times when I felt so unappreciated, so disrespected, so forgotten, and after all the ways I had tried over the years to make sure they were happy, healthy, well-fed, entertained, provided for, listened to, cheered up and cheered on, driven to and fro, given the last of a special treat that was supposed to be for me, but they didn’t know it. All the times I had their backs, nursed them during their illnesses, told my husband in private to not be so harsh, sat and listened to their stories, watched their silly antics, and stopped doing what I needed to be doing in order to just give them my undivided attention.

I know I’ve just used the last two paragraphs to go on about us moms giving, giving, giving and not getting back. I don’t want to misrepresent my own experience as a mom. Actually, I feel so blessed overall by the children God has given me, and by the many years of raising them. The good experiences as a mom way outweigh the bad, but sometimes those bad moments cut deep. There is a saying that goes like this, “We always hurt the ones we love.” Why is that? You’d think if we truly loved someone we would go out of our way to NOT hurt them! Maybe it’s the comfort level within a family, maybe it’s built-up resentment from years of legitimate or perceived abuse, maybe it’s because we see our family’s flaws daily and we hold it over them. I’m not sure. Whatever the case, we need to work harder to honor each other, especially our moms.

At this time in my life, when I feel unappreciated by my family, I don’t think I get as hurt as I used to. It doesn’t happen often, but my response now is more of a reflecting on how I treated my own mom when I was young. I’m sad to say I too am guilty of not appreciating her enough. (Mom, I’m so sorry!) Again, nothing like being a mom yourself to teach with great clarity these lessons! Another reflection I make is on the amazing character of God. Can you imagine, loving someone so much that you give up your Son to die in their place? Or loving everyone but all the while feeling their dislike (even loathing), or disrespect of you, or rejection, or rebellion against you, no matter how much you’ve displayed your love, your patience, your kindness, your forgiveness time after time after time. The ways I do not honor God the way He deserves are inexcusable! And yet, His grace is bestowed upon me again and again…not unlike a mother toward her children.

Ah, the glorious, undeserved grace of our God and how beautifully it is displayed in the way a mother loves her children! Thank you, God, for such grace! And thank you for moms and the way they teach us a little more about your boundless love! Thank you for the way you designed us to be so in tune to our families! Thank you for entrusting children into our care! Thank you for understanding more than anyone how hurt we feel at times, and may those moments serve to remind us how we need to be better at loving and honoring our moms (and dads), and above all, You!

Moms, you are amazing! “We love you” doesn’t seem to cut it, but we do, we really, really do! Thank YOU!

L & Hs